Today, my oldest daughter turned seven years old! (Wow, that sounds so strange to say, I guess it’s going to take some getting used to!) Since we are so far from home, we did what we could to make our big girls day as special as possible. A delicious breakfast of french toast ordered from room service was just the thing to get the day started with style. We had to report to the US immigration office this morning at 10:00 to apply for Mia’s visa, which broke up the fun of the morning. Thankfully, everything went smoothly there, after all of our paperwork woes. We’re still a little concerned about this, and will continue to be, until we have passed through the final immigration checkpoint on our way back home. Like everything else, we are taking this one hurdle at a time. After finishing with immigration, we dropped Chris and Mia off at the room for a much needed nap. Sydney and I took this opportunity for some mom and daughter time, and we got out and did a little shopping. We had a wonderful time browsing the shops near our hotel, and we even found some great deals. As in many other places in the world, you are expected to ‘bargain’ with the shopkeepers for the best price, even for everyday items. This is a bit strange, and hard to get used to, at least for me. The language barrier here makes this exchange even trickier. I was amused to see the shopkeeper pull out a large calculator, and type in the price of the item I was interested in. Then, she handed the calculator to me, and I typed in my starting price. This version of haggling worked well, and we either came to a price where we could agree, or I walked away. Sydney was very perplexed by this at first, but quickly got the idea. She even helped me bargain for a pair of traditional Chinese umbrellas, a purple one for her, and a hot pink one for her sister. Since today was (almost) all about Sydney, she decided our afternoon would just be relaxing, hanging out, and watching movies in our room. After watching “Alladin” and most of “Cars”, we all felt like our brains were turning to pudding, and we had to get outside! We took off for a walk, and passed by a shopping center that had (literally) rolled out the red carpet for it’s grand opening today. Just outside the entrance, there were eight different bigger than life-sized transformers! Some were fascinating, a few were a little scary, and this one cracked us up! To top off the fun of the day, we met the other families and took a dinner cruise on the Pearl river. Unlike in the states, this boat allowed us to bring our own food and drink aboard, so we got together and ordered Papa John’s pizza! We have been very surprised by how western China has been, and this is just one example. Not that Papa John’s is our favorite, but we’re getting tired of stir-fry and dumplings. After finishing our pizza, we all made our way to the upper deck of the boat to feel the cool evening breeze, and see the sights of the river. The Chinese are all about the colored lights – on bridges, on buildings – everywhere. Several of the buildings and bridges we saw sported colored lights that rotated in a pattern. First green, then orange, then blue, then teal. All in all, this cruise was one of the more fun and relaxing things we’ve experienced here in Guangzhou. And Sydney says:
My favorite part of the day was the river cruise! It was so fun, and the lights were beautiful.
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Yesterday, was my best mother’s day EVER! An hour of quiet yoga and meditation was just what I needed to help me find some peace and calm to begin the day. Everyone told me going into this adventure, that parenting two children would be A LOT more work than parenting one, and of course, it’s true. But, like everything else in life, you don’t really KNOW something, until you know it first hand . . . Funny thing of it is, I had prepared for Mia to be more of the ‘typical’ institutionalized child. Very often these children have developmental delays, and poorly developed social skills. They require extra effort and gentle coaxing to get them to interact with you. You have to work a little harder to get them to come out of their shell, so I brought several activities with exactly that in mind. Well let me tell you, with Mia, there was no shell! She has no trouble looking us directly in the eye, is unbelievably social, and she is curious about EVERYTHING! She has an easy smile, and a deep belly laugh. She loves to be held, and she gives lots of kisses. She learns new things very quickly, and has a fantastic sense of humor. She’s beginning to use tiny bits of English, but it is clear that she understands much more. As of today, she has been with us for a full week, and she has shown us her fun, confident, strong personality every single day! That strong, confident personality often gets her into conflict with Sydney, who is just as strong and confident. Suffice to say that we’ve had more than a few disagreements. But on the flip side, I’m watching a budding friendship start. Like many other siblings I know, they will be laughing one minute, arguing the next, then before I know it they are hugging each other and back to playing. Just like any other siblings will. I’m so proud of both of my girls, even when they argue. That sounds strange, but it’s true. I don’t like playing the referee, but I accept that it is part of my job, at least for now, and maybe for always. My heart leaps with joy when I see them playing well together, and getting along. The head to head combat just shows me that they both feel like they belong in this family, and that they both believe that their feelings and opinions matter. I have often said that being a mother is the toughest job I’ve ever done for no money and no time off, and it still is. Now that I’m a mother of two, the work may be more than double, but the good thing is that the joy is more than double, too. So, you’re probably wondering about the terribly close call. Last Friday, when we went for Mia’s medical clearance, it was discovered that one of the Chinese documents in her file was possibly not hers, as it listed another child’s name. This caused a lot of confusion, and led to more investigation. This investigation led to other problems, BIGGER ones. I’m not going to divulge all of the details here, but until about an hour ago, we weren’t sure if she was going to be allowed to leave China without some significant delay. Or, even if she had been allowed to leave, that immigration would have permitted her to entrance into the US. Thankfully, we found out about these issues while we are able to do something about them. Catherine, our Holt representative here, has been amazing! She has done everything in her power to acquire the extra documentation we needed – she’s practically moved mountains on our behalf. It’s been touch and go for the last two days, but as of this minute, we are in the clear, and set for our appointment at the US Consulate tomorrow morning for Mia’s US visa. If for some reason the Consulate decides to refuse our added documentation, well, we will cross that bridge when it comes. And Sydney says: I love my new sister, but she can be really annoying when she wants to do everything that I do. My mom says that little sisters are like that, and that I’d better get used to it. We all woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, irritable and grouchy. We’re physically tired from all of the stresses of this adventure, and the disruption of our normal routine. We’ve been traveling for 17 days and we miss our home. We miss our beds. We are sick of wearing the same clothes day after day, and we have had enough of restaurant food. Mostly, we just want to come home. As stressed and tired as we are, I know that Mia is feeling just the same, if not more so. As I was hurrying to get myself ready to go this morning, and I heard a little bit of a ruckus from the girls in the other room. The next thing I knew, Mia came to me, with a very serious look on her face, speaking loudly and quickly in Chinese. Let me tell you, this little girl can be so LOUD! To look at her, you would never guess that so much noise could come out of such a little person. From what I could determine, Sydney had done something upsetting, and Mia was coming to me for intervention. I took a deep breath, and thought to myself, “the rivalry begins . . .”. I had to bite my tongue not to chuckle at the tattling – it was so stinking cute! I wish I knew what she was saying, and I’m certain that SHE wishes I knew what she was saying, too. I could see the frustration in her eyes. She talks constantly, mostly in Chinese, but I am amazed by how much English she has already acquired. We’ve been singing with her, because she seems to like that, and she has quickly learned the ABC song. Just not in the proper order. She’s got the melody down, but it comes out something like, “A P D C O B G . . .” It’s hilarious! Food has started to become an issue, too. The first couple of days, she ate anything we put in front of her, but now, she has become more discriminating. She’s great with vegetables, loves asparagus and broccoli, but doesn’t like hamburgers or chocolate milk. Sydney couldn’t believe that Mia would reject chocolate milk! I have to admit, it surprised me too. We ordered her some Chinese wonton noodle soup for lunch today, and she seemed so thankful for something familiar. We can certainly relate. Traveling is fun and all, but there’s no place like home. One thing that we can certainly say about the city of Guangzhou is that it is HOT and HUMID. The daytime high temperature has been in the upper 90’s, with 90% humidity. It only takes a few minutes walking outside to be drenched in sweat. Today was a free day – no appointments or planned activities. We’ve gotten to know one of the other families from our Holt adoption group pretty well, The Gonzalez Family, who have just adopted Leah, who is their third chinese child. They are an amazing family! We love hanging out with them, and all of the kids get along incredibly well. Anyway, we decided to brave the heat (and the taxi ride), and follow them over to Shamian Island, to see the shops and the infamous White Swan Hotel. The White Swan is the hotel where Holt has arranged lodging for all its China adoptive families for years and years. As of last October, the hotel closed down for a total remodel, and Holt moved it’s office and families here to the China Hotel. The island was a beautiful place. And after visiting here, we are even more disappointed to be missing out on the tradition of the White Swan . It’s also unfortunate to see how its closing has negatively impacted the economy of the island. Much of the surrounding retail space now stands empty, and the shops that remain are struggling. We did our part to contribute by purchasing several souvenirs, and a few toys for the girls. By the afternoon, we were getting tired and cranky from the heat. Sydney was a huge help! She played “crazy driver” pushing Mia around in the stroller, and kept everyone laughing and smiling. After reading all of the comments to yesterday’s post, I am left feeling a little guilty. I had not intended to sound so sad! On the contrary, while Mia has had her moments of grief, we have seen many more moments of joy. I am amazed and grateful for her resilience, her ability and willingness to bounce back and move forward. After the stress of returning to the Civil Affairs Office yesterday morning, we came back to the hotel, and Sydney and Chris went off to frolic in the swimming pool, while Mia crashed – and slept for a good three hours. When she awoke, she was cheerful, happy and FULL of energy! We walked down to a nearby park and playground, and had a great time running and playing. This morning brought the breakthrough I have been waiting for. As we were on our way to breakfast, Mia reached her arms up to me, wanting to be picked up! I was so excited about this, I almost burst into tears. Finally, my patience has been rewarded! Today, I am the object of her attention. She is looking at me, following me everywhere, and calling me Mama, all with a huge smile upon her face! When she looked up at me a few minutes ago and said “Wo ai ni” (pronounced whoa-eye-knee), which is Mandarin for I love you, I felt like I could fly . . . And as if that weren’t enough, her language skills are astounding. We started with the sign language videos, to give her a quick and easy bridge from her native language to English. She picked up the signs right away, but isn’t at all interested in using them. Instead, she has become a parrot – repeating many of our words as we use them, with a clarity I would never have imagined she could produce so quickly. What’s been even more surprising is her ability to remember these new words, and use them correctly in new situations. She is curious about EVERYTHING. Like a tiny Chinese tornado, she spins around the room, getting into everything. The highlight of the day so far was a morning shoe shopping trip! The shoes Mia was wearing when she arrived are at least one size too big. We were unable to find a store close to the hotel that carried children’s things, so we had to take a twenty minute taxi ride to the nearest shopping center. I have never seen a little girl get so excited with such a simple thing. When she put on her new shoes, she beamed from ear to ear. And Sydney says: I really like having a sister, and she is way fun to play with, but I feel like Mia is getting all of my mom’s attention today, and I don’t really like it. Today, we legally finalized our adoption. Mia Isabelle Lynch is our daughter, now and forever! It hasn’t even been a full 24 hours since our family of 3 became 4, but already we feel like we’ve been together so much longer! Mia is beginning to warm up to me, with easy smiles, and a willingness to hold my hand. She still prefers Chris or Sydney, but we are making slow but steady progress. I am taking everyone’s kind advice to be patient, and doing my best to wait for her to come to me. As difficult as this is for me (all I want to do is cuddle, kiss and hug her!), I know it is more difficult for her. She’s been hurt in ways I cannot comprehend – twice. Her biological mother abandoned her, and now, even though she has been prepared as best as she could for this, it must feel like she’s been abandoned again by her ‘aunties’ from the orphanage. And it must have been difficult for those women, too. Clearly, they loved her, and cared for her extremely well. She is talkative, social, and beautifully mannered. She takes great pride in her hand washing abilities, which she likes to do all the way up to her elbows. It’s really more of a surgical scrub than a typical hand wash, but hey, I’m not complaining. She has willingly eaten whatever we have put in front of her. She carefully brushes her own teeth. If she wasn’t so tiny, and liable to fall into the toilet, she could do that independently, too. Her nickname at the orphanage was Aiyu (pronounced eye-yuh), and when we cheer her on for doing something we want her to do, she will say, “Aiyu, good girl!”. Yes, yes, Aiyu is such a good girl! I am forever thankful to the aunties for the love they have given, and the strong foundation they have laid, for the benefit of our family. A family they don’t even know, and will likely never see again. It is evident that she has been prepared, as she was so quick to recognize us, and brought with her the little photo book we had sent to her so many months ago. She knows the book by heart, and it is worn from use. The aunties also gave us another unexpected gift. They gave us two small photo albums with pictures of Mia at different stages, beginning as an infant through present day. These photos were the first thing she wanted to show Chris, who she is calling Baba (pronounced Bah-bah) which is Mandarin for Daddy. She is proud of those photos, as she should be. Those memories are priceless, irreplaceable, and for them, I owe the aunties a debt of gratitude.
It’s been a crazy long, and stressful day! We went to the Civil Affairs Office this afternoon to finally be united with Mia. The office was chaotic – approximately 40 families were there picking up their new children. So many feelings were swirling around that room – overwhelming joy, anxiety, and naturally, great despair. The reactions of the babies and children were as different as the children themselves. Most were crying, some seemed happy, and several just looked shocked. We knew Mia, as soon as she and her caregivers walked through the doorway. She recognized us too, and was carrying the little photo book we had sent to her several months ago. The toughest part of the day came when her caregiver walked away from us. Mia started screaming, anger and sadness pouring from her little soul, as she cried out “Don’t go, don’t go!” She rejected me immediately, didn’t want to have anything to do with me – but fortunately, she was ok with Sydney, and she cuddled with Chris very soon after we got her settled down. As difficult and heartbreaking as this was to witness and experience (and let me tell you, this was ROUGH!) I kept hearing words from my teacher whispering in my heart, that there is always joy alongside pain. Her despair today was not only natural and expected, but an indicator of the strong bonds she had made with the only people she has ever known as family. It is obvious that she has been loved. Once we returned to our hotel room, we broke out the coloring books and crayons, looking for a calm activity that would allow her to warm up to us slowly. In no time, she was drawing, coloring, writing, and showing us her first tentative smiles. As I’m writing this, it’s a few hours later, and she is amazing us with her exuberance, gentle quick hugs, and easy laughter. We know that there will be more times of grief to come, as she processes this transition and adjusts, but for now, we are all enjoying the blessing of joy before us. And Sydney says: I was so excited to meet Mia, I could not wait. Today, is the BEST day of my life! When I saw her crying so hard, I felt bad that she had to leave the only momma she had ever known. Once we got back to the hotel and started playing, she got happy, and I’m glad of that. We made it to Guangzhou yesterday, but with all of the traveling, transfers and meetings we’ve hardly had a moment to breathe. I am stealing away a couple of minutes to write this, as we are scheduled to leave to hotel to meet Mia in less than an hour. I wanted to take just a moment to thank everyone who has posted, emailed or contacted us on Facebook. We are so overjoyed at this transition in our lives, and it means so much to us that we are surrounded by the love and support of our family and friends. We have had a hectic schedule for the past couple of days, and limited internet access, but we have read and appreciated all of your messages, even though we haven’t been able to respond as often as we would have liked to. Please keep the good vibrations coming! I promise to post again soon . . .
We arrived in Beijing on Thursday morning, after getting up painfully early to catch the first flight out of Xi ‘An. Chris had business meetings to attend this afternoon, so Sydney and I found the hotel pool, and just relaxed and enjoyed ourselves. Around 5:30 in the evening, Chris’s work obligations were through, and his colleagues Jessica, Sabrina and Wilson took us out to a popular Beijing restaurant, where the specialty was roasted duck. For any of you who haven’t tried duck, let me tell you, it’s delicious!! The skin is crispy, and tastes a lot like bacon. The meat is tender and juicy, and has a consistency and flavor similar to beef. There was so much food! We had the roast duck, and stir-fried duck meat in these little “bird nests” of rice noodles, and steamed shrimp with a creamy sauce with just a hint of orange. Vegetables included steamed cabbage leaves, and the best vegetable dish by far was the stir-fried bamboo, with roasted seaweed. The seaweed was very much like roasted kale, only saltier, and more savory. Delicious! Sydney was such a good sport, and tried a little of everything on the table. On Friday morning, we met up with four of the other soon-to-be adoptive families, and we went on a guided tour of the Great Wall. Traffic here in Beijing is impressive, and even though we left the hotel after rush hour should have been over, it still took us almost an hour to arrive at the Wall at Badaling. The Wall is a site to behold! It is approximately 10 meters tall, and it snakes along the sides and tops of the mountains surrounding Beijing. To climb the wall is a test of balance and endurance – the stairs are small, unevenly spaced, and at certain areas VERY steep. In the photo above, you can see approximately half of the distance we climbed to reach the highest vantage point of the wall at this location. The weather was unexpectedly hot, our high today was 92 degrees F, when typical for this time of year is low 70’s. We were thankful to be Floridians (who are accustomed to heat), and for hats to shade our faces from the strong midday sun. The hike up was exhausting, and navigating the crowds at the lower portion was tricky, but we stuck together as a family, cheered each other on, and stopped for rest and water many times. An hour and a half later, after climbing over 1,000 vertical feet, we reached the summit! Today is our final day in Xi ‘An. Our guide, Callie, met us again in the hotel lobby this morning to take us on our final tour of this city. She has been a valuable resource for us here, though we have been surprised by how much English we have encountered. It seems to us, that at least in this area, the Chinese are very interested in attracting tourism. So, today we were taken to the Xi’An Beilin Museum. This is a preserved site of the temple of Confucius, and the building structures themselves are close to 1,000 years old. Trust us when we say that they have been preserved extremely well! This museum stores many ancient artifacts, but the most interesting to us were the Steles (pronounced stales). Steles are stone tablets, where the teachings of Confucius were carved by the hands of his disciples. We learned today, that his original writings were first painted on sheets of bamboo, but were then etched into stone as a more permanent record. Let me tell you, you can’t get much more permanent – the tablets vary in size, but most were 7-8 feet tall, 3 feet wide, and 8-10 inches thick! Oh yeah, and did I mention that there were over 3,000 of them?? By transcribing the teachings into stone, copies could easily be made by placing a sheet of rice paper over the tablet, and rubbing or brushing the paper with ink. The detail of the carvings are incredible, especially considering they were done by hand, using only a primitive knife. The site is more commonly called the Forest of Stone Tablets, because there are so many tablets, like trees in a forest. If there is one thing certain about Chinese history, there are layers upon layers of meaning in just about everything. We have thoroughly enjoyed exploring this area, and learning as much as we can about China’s history and complex culture, as we have been counting down the days until the time arrives when we will get to the real reason we are here – our sweet little Mia! Since we arrived in China, we have been keenly aware of each of the young girls we’ve seen. We are so curious to know what she will be like, and what will she think of us? We can hardly wait until next Monday . . . And Sydney says . . .
The museum was kind of fun today, because I got to take a lot of pictures. It was also a little boring, because my mom wanted to stay a long time, and know what every sign meant. |
Lisa LynchLisa is a world traveling mom that took the ultimate adventure Archives
December 2012
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